Here you go, the expression of disgust mixed with a bit of a surprise and a touch of “but what are you doing for heaven’s sake?!” of the immortal Britney is just one of the many reactions that usually people have when talking feminine tattoos. Because yes, I’m as short as a Smurfette without heels and a particularly powerful gust of wind could make me fly away but attention! I am tattooed. A lot. And this apparently is a problem for some.
In fact it’s not so much the tattoo itself that is a problem, but rather the way the tattoo apparently hinders my mental abilities/decision making capabilities/working. Sure, because if you’re a woman and you have more than a star tattooed on your shoulder it’s OBVIOUS that you’re a little bit of a moron. I really do not understand this and never will. Because the fact that having tattoos would affect the success of my work in any field and, above all, because the fact of being a young lady tattooed should make me less of a woman, a woman who “yes, sure, you’re feminine, but perhaps without those tattoos…”?
Perhaps without these tattoos I would feel less of a woman then how I feel now, maybe I maggot these tattoos because they have a meaning, maybe I (I am the one who has them on her body, not you that you would rather have a beam straight in your eye rather than looking at them) like them, maybe I like how they tell a story without using words.
The best one are those who ask “you know that when you’ll have to give birth you won’t be able to have an epidural? How will you do it?” with the expression of someone who is actually worried about my health. Apart from that, yes, I know that having a tattoo on my back means that I could possibly not make use of the epidural, but above all I won’t “have to” give birth. I will give birth when and if I’ll want to have a child; there are people who have not yet understood that the fact of having a uterus and a pair of ovaries does not mean they have to definitely give birth, but that’s another story.
But then, let’s face it, you also become even less attractive with all that ink on your skin. As if, first of all, I was interested to be attractive for you that you have the open mindedness as that of a possum that sleeps six months a year. And then, not less importantly, as if Ruby Rose had not taught us anything.
The truth is that there is no middle way here, my friends: if you’re a tattooed woman most of the time you will be labelled or be considered one who could have had a long and successful career in the world of porn or, conversely, as a kind of jailbird.
So, I have actually been to a prison on a field trip in high school (a field trip, do you understand? At the time I considered even the one-day trip to the Egyptian Museum of Turin to be boring, let alone a three-hour visit to a prison, but also that’s another story), but it’s not then that I realized that decided I would get a tattoo of the cell number I thought was better furnished, if you know what I mean.
As for the other side of the coin, I do not think that it has to be me to invent hot water and say that it’s certainly not the ink on the skin to give the idea or not whether I am willing to sleep around and with whom.
Well, now I can move on to the really interesting side of the topic, which I have already mentioned a few lines ago but since I am an excellent procrastinator I haven’t actually yet talked about it: the question of femininity.
So, could someone kindly explain to me how my tattoos make me less feminine? Let me understand, are there categories like in Ciao Darwin [an Italian television show] (do you remember? When I happened to watch it occasionally, I would always be laughing a lot although in reality I wanted to cry, given the high level of intelligence … Okay now enough procrastination!), as I was saying, we are divided into two compartments according to which women who are not tattooed are saints while those with tattoos are rebels? The non-tattooed ones are more reliable and to those with ink you wouldn’t even trust them to look after your poodle while you go for a moment to do a quick food shop?
Then thank goodness that it’s not always like this! There are those who really don’t care whether I am tattooed or not, there are those who can fortunately get past a few drawings on the skin, there are those who come out with the usual obvious question “and when you get old?” (question to which I usually answer that, except that when I’m old most people will be tattooed, but especially that when I am old my priority will be to try not to wet myself, like everyone else, tattooed or not), and there are those who make me very happy by saying that in fact that particular tattoo in that particular spot gives me that extra edge.
The point is, however, that I’d like to wake up every morning and freely decide whether to dress as a sexy secretary or a mechanic with a lot of oil stains, without this decision being influenced by the fact that I have tattoos on my skin.
I’d like the people who know what I study and how much effort I put into it not remain astonished as Britney in the picture above because “you don’t have the face (and the tattoos) of someone who is graduating in ancient studies!” Why do we or do we not have the face of someone who is graduating in something? Does it work like this? I must have missed this part too, so at this point I really wonder whether actually too much ink got into my blood.
Ah, in six months from now I will have, among other things, a half tattooed arm, so, as the real ones say, stay tuned.
