“All feminists hate men!”
It would be really easy for me to write an article making fun of this phrase. I can think of so many jokes that would fill up a Moleskine notebook.
Would it be useful?
Yes, for my ego and for those who already think like me.
It’s not the type of benefit that I seek for. Here I like to be helpful to others, those others who do not think like me at all.
Why? Because I think that in some cases the problem is only of relational nature.
Why when trying to explain one’s point of view there are always two ways: the first focuses on “the show”, where using force/irony/sarcasm/aggression puts the other in the corner. Maybe you would “win” the battle, but I doubt you would manage to change someone’s ideas, because let’s face it, nobody likes to be considered a jerk.
The second focuses on the relation, that thing that has been seemingly forgotten by most, the one where if you express your point of view taking into account the other person, maybe you will actually be listened.
Overall, quoting Robert Frost (and also my favourite movie):
“Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.”
So I promise you that I will not become hateful and will not think of myself as better than all of you, but you promise me that you will get to the end of the article.
Let’s virtually pinky promise as Miracle Girls.
I think I know why some women say they are against feminism, and I think the cause of this statement is to be found within the feminist movement (or do we really want to believe that there are no faults? Come on.)
Now I will give you an example.
Let’s assume that a demonstration against violence towards women is organized, one of those parades with floats and music of singers from the 70s, where people walk slow while they chat, happy to be there for a specific purpose, united by a worthy belief. Are you picturing this?
Well, now we assume that that demonstration was organized by an openly feminist association.
That’s very likely, right? Fine.
Now imagine that a man wants to attend the event, as he himself is opposed to violence against women and – listen, listen – he is stopped from doing so because “in this event, men are not allowed”.
What would you think? If you have an average IQ and you are not horrible people, at least you would tell yourself that “Well, if that’s feminism, you know what? No thanks. I don’t want to hate men to assert my womanhood.”
It seems to me like a legit thought.
Then perhaps it is appropriate to say that if a feminist association prevents a man from manifesting with them against violence towards women, that association is NOT FEMINIST.
And I say that it’s also the feminist movement’s fault, because too often we forget to say it.
Feminism is fighting for equality, not for a Far West “settling of scores”.
It’s not that “now it’s up to men to suffer.” It’s not about revenge.
And women who use feminism to fight for their personal battles with the opposite sex, should stop to smear the name of a movement that has a rather extreme dignity and a constant goal of inclusion.
But if no one ever says anything, if no woman ever stands up and condemns certain behaviours, hiding behind a conspiratorial reality in the name of “girl power” which exists only when it suits them, feminism will die.
It will be considered an extremist movement and will be short lived as all extremist movements.
To be feminist there is only the need to believe that the world would be a better place if everyone had the same opportunities, regardless of gender, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, etc.
For this reason, you do not have to be women to be feminist.
Women have good reason to be feminists and men have good reasons to be feminists.
Because as human beings, we all have good reasons in wanting to try to be happier.
THIS is feminism.
