Civil unions, egalitarian marriage, adoption by homosexual couples certainly represent social and political milestones. Steps towards equality; this means that although being necessary elements, they are not sufficient conditions for real change.
They represent, and that is why there is fighting with particular force, what allows, being visible and concrete, to identify a gap: they do so to achieve a status and institutionalization. But in addition to the window, there is something more hidden, less obvious is what is hidden behind the semantics, the language, the words, the tone. Breaks.
Things that even you realize, but they conceal value judgments. And sometimes not even conceal it, come out with the cowardice of spite and dell’astio of those who insult, for those who want to subjugate, devalue, mock. So many times he / she succeeds, sometimes not: who has the antibodies resists, who does not own them succumbs.
It’s an important game.
Will you marry? Lots for marriage. Want to adopt? Lots for adoptions. It is not so simple, it’s hard, of course, but the goals are very clear: marriage and adoptions.
But how to fight against the “culture”? What are the threads that you have to touch, where you have to put your hand?
Because this is the litmus test for change. If you do not work on that, my friends, you can also get married and adopt, but you will always fags. Or you can also get the salary equal to your husband, as you do the same job, but stay whores.
Let’s talk about this with Dario Accolla, one of the most well-known LGBT activists on the Italian scene. He has his own blog, Elfobruno, works with the Pride and monthly Il Fatto 
Quotidiano. He’s a founder member of the site Gaypost.it. But above all, he is a teacher and writer has a PhD in Modern Philology, has deepened the Gender Studies and Linguistics. His latest book is “Homophobia, bullying and youth language“.
Angelo. First thing first: what are bullying and homophobia? As these two concepts are related to youth language?
Dario. Homophobia is a “cultural system” of defence that you identify the different – the homosexual, in this case – as an enemy than the “normal,” or heterosexual. This creates, in society, a distinction between norm and what escapes it. Its engine, in other words, is the fear of seeming different and therefore not allowed (and not acceptable, as a result). The child learns early on that homosexuality is something disadvantageous, however, without knowing what is the phenomenon. Bullying is a persecution mechanism instead. There is a victim, a group of persecutors and a “theatre” in which violence, verbal, psychological and physical, are consumed with a precise ritual. It is not the mere spite of a partner against another, it is a system of oppression implemented against a person seen as outside the canon. Bullying and homophobia, therefore, meet on this stigmatization of what escapes a shared norm.
A. We can say that is fulfilled, since the times of school socialization, a “different linguistic construction”?
D. As I said, you learn before you know the people that being gay is such a disadvantage. More generally, that being part of a minority is somewhat less than desirable. As we absorb this information from the way that adults have to narrate the reality (for how they have absorbed, in turn), we get into a real “verbal soup” in which we are grown and, therefore, trained to see how potentially dangerous diversity. Gays and lesbians are not the only categories, however. We think about how we are told, emigration or the Roma community. For all these categories, the first act of discrimination is to language and resides in that narrative.
A. Even among friends (heterosexual or homosexual), perhaps in playful form, there is called “fag” or “queer”. What’s under the joke, more latent form?
D. Language is the vehicle of stereotypes and prejudices. Think of the proverbs or sayings on the female world: “Who says woman says damage”, “woman behind the wheel, constant danger,” “wishes and sons.” Maybe we can joke about it, but they are indicative of a misogynist culture. The same can be said of the terminology used about gays. Behind there is a prejudice. Then, it must be said, another thing is the use of certain words and claim them a negative content: think of the term queer, a derogatory time. The use of language, then, is always relative to the context and the willingness to communicate. Words can hurt or caress, lose negative connotations and take on new meanings. But it is not a simple cultural process, which is accompanied by a culture of education to diversity.
A. There are forms of physical violence, and more veiled forms of violence, but no less harsh: the homophobic language is one of those. First know the effects, but which are, in particular, the effects of the second?
D. In my book I pick up a set of descriptions, opinions and insults on the LGBT world. I was amazed to see how, for many respondents, the three things coincide. Gay, “People who pose a certain way” fagots, etc., fall into one phenomenology. Being gay seems to be an insult. Because being gay is told as a phenomenon to be afraid or ashamed. How does it feel to live in a world that perceives you, tells you and treats you like a monster to be avoided? In youth contexts that can lead to isolation, poor school performance, eating disorders, forms of self-injury (even physical) to suicide. I wonder and often I ask my listeners, in schools: this is what we want for our students and our students? Because one thing that is known is that you do not have to be gay or lesbian to be the victim of homophobic bullying or homophobia more wide-ranging: enough to believe that whoever we face is “the other side”, to trace a figure of speech , and can start the trouble. And it has already happened, with tragic results.
A. Do you think that there is also a form of linguistic discrimination for women? Do you think we can speak of linguistic chauvinism?
D. Absolutely. Just look mundane uses as the article in front of the last name, for example. Or the general use of the male. I always do an example. Think of the phrase “the mother has arranged the closet”. And then, we replace “mom” to “dad”. The sentence changes completely meaning. This is indicative of the sexist culture in which we are still immersed.
A. What effect does homophobia (and linguistic chauvinism) on the way of seeing and relating to homosexuality (and women)?
D. Homophobia and sexism are two sides of the same coin. It is a large and complex speech, but to make it much simpler: the problem of being gay is the call to a more female sexuality that man. It is like a woman, in other words, is considered dishonourable. And in hindsight, when you insult a man for his homosexuality, real or imaginary, it is called female. Felling of gender stereotypes and culture to the respect of the differences are strategic, in creating a more inclusive and less violent reality.
A. What do you do in practice, today, in schools to combat the phenomenon of bullying linked to homophobia? What do you think needs to be done to “macro” level?
D. After the last few years, after the rejection of the law against homophobia and after the “danger of gender” in school, the action of teachers and leaders is very difficult. Parents neighbours in certain areas of homophobic nature policies are very angry. You block sex education projects, to combat bullying, education differences. Everything is branded as an attempt to pervert the new generations. Many principals, for fear of having some kind of trouble, leave running. I believe it is the worst form of violence you consume between corridors and benches. Luckily there is the action of individual / and teachers is meritorious. The government should intervene with targeted policies. I doubt, however, that our executive is up to the task. Just see who sits at the Interior Ministry.
A. What do you do you, as a teacher? What advice would you give to your colleagues?
D. I act like my heterosexual colleagues: do not go into the classroom to declare my sexual orientation, and do not hide it either. In my classes they know about me. It came spontaneously, after an incident in which a student complained that it was insulted by the word “gay”. I thought it only fair to remind them that it risked even offend me. Now there’s some of my students waiting for the approval of civil unions because he wants to see me “married.” I think it’s a beautiful thing. My colleagues say just be yourself and have courage, evaluating possible risks of coming out in unfriendly environments. It’s fine an act of militancy and a burst of pride. Less well martyrdom. In any case, people should be free to be himself, as he sees fit. I think this.
