I have almost never found difficult introducing, even if in brief, the people that I interview. It is always important, just before starting the conversation, to have a clear overview of the person who are you going to interview, and to know as much as possible about his ore her life. It is only after “studying” the interviewed that the interview can be considered successful. An interview is interesting if the logics that are at its basis are not insignificant, and if the exchange due to the conversation opens exciting horizons and pushes down the stereotypes that distress the society.
Introducing Nitzan Krimsky is quite difficult, because you could say the opposite of everything of this young Israeli artist who studied in Milan and speaks Italian fluently. This interview that I did with Nitzan Krimsky is one of the best interviews I have ever done. His answers are mindful and not expected: he allows you to reflect deeply on the real meaning of life tracing the daily life of a person who prefers not to labeled in any way that it is “conventionally accepted”.
Nitzan has opened his mind and his heart to Bossy’s readers, and his interview gives everybody a very important teaching: we must all learn to see ourselves as unique and special beings, as something that goes beyond the ordinary, as a force that feeds from inside. We could consider ourselves people in peace with our soul only when we will not be intimidated by the others, and when we will not bow our head anymore
N. Dear Nitzan, first of all I want to thank you for doing this interview with me. I have read the conversation you had with i24news, and I have been very positively impressed by your story. Schachar Peled, the journalist who has written the article, has described you as a “lightly stubbled, gay man. Feminine, emotional and dramatic, but also athletic, strong and masculine”. People in Italy do not know anything about you. This is the first time you are doing an interview with an Italian magazine, and it is a great pleasure for us. So let’s start from a simple question: could you please introduce yourself, with your own words, to Bossy’s readers?
N. First in this world, I am a person, then I am a soul. I do not identify in terms of body for I see myself first as a soul. In translation to the physical form, I identify as male bodied person with a female soul. I do not have a sexual preference, because I am attracted to souls, to persons, regardless to their physical appearance or earthly identifications, that is irrelevant to me .
N. When did you realize that you were transgender? How did you tell your family? And how did your relatives and friends react?
N. First I would say that I do not identify as transgender , it is solely for the purpose of translating my spiritual being to the bodily earthly forms human use to “identify each other .I was born in a female body yet never saw myself as a female , yet was recognized and treated as one by society. I understood something was wrong with how people perceive me at the age of 3 . I was living in New York at the time and decided that since The first and hardest obstacle in such a journey towards my real physical identity would be telling my mother . I wrote her a hand written letter , describing my life history and journey in short , showing her the signs she could of acknowledged all along my life time .I told my friends and coworkers after telling my partner first , who at the time took it quite hard yet remained with me . My friends were all quite supportive telling me if I feel it is the right thing for me , they shall stand with me .they have been of tremendous help in this journey , a real strong family who at the time of my top surgery , all gathered to contribute and help at a fundraiser to raise funds for my operation which successfully paid half of the procedure .my dear and close friend Tricia came with me on her expense to Miami to take care of me like a mother would at the surgery and its recovery . My brother who has supported me since day one with great love and dedication took care of me for months after my surgery , while I was recovering .
N. How did you deal with the feeling of being trapped in a body that doesn’t belong to your real self?
N. Not living in your body has a tremendous effect on you , first on how you perceive yourself , You feel you live in a lie , that people address you as one thing , while there is a whole different being who perceives itself as completely other than that inside .It is a hard journey of self hatred , denial , depression and feeling helpless in confront with “destiny ” . It is a place that leads you easily to poverty and homelessness ( I never lived in the streets , yet lived in other people homes temporarily through long periods of my life , this houses depicted in my work , so many different rooms in different countries and parts of the city (when I started transitioning in New York ) . Poverty is a big issue in such case for I believe that wealth or well being is very much a description of how you feel towards yourself , your self worth , when You are not aligned with how you are feeling inside , your wealth and well being aren’t aligned as well .
N. When were you truly able to be at peace with your actual identity?
N. I believe I do not have one , that this is a time where people start understanding that how society bounds them with words , aka identity , is never a true description of what they are , for life is bigger then words , and it is almost a “sin” to describe such magnificent , ever changing experience in one , limited word . I think that finding peace with yourself is a feeling , one can adopt at any given moment , its a practice one should attain for a better life . I strive for balance , in a world of duality , of the masculine and feminine , which is merely one of the many dualities we must strive to balance , for dualities do not contradict , they complete each other , they do not cancel each other as many may think , they cannot exist one without the other .
N. You were a woman and you identified yourself as a lesbian woman. Now you are a very good looking man and you are openly gay. I personally think that there is a lot of discrimination even within the LGBT community. For example, we still see that transwomen, especially transwomen of colour, are the main victims of anti-LGBT violence. Do you think that the LGBT community is truly inclusive?
N. I think that every community has its wide range of colors , opinions and beliefs , there is still a great deal of self hatred , shame , and guilt in the LGBT community , a product of societies treating them as different or “defected” for “not following the norm “ while life in itself and people who do follow the norm are all different , generalizing never did good to any one . Unfortunately my trans sisters of color suffer severe violence and mistreatment , a demeaning of their lives for many people who identify others first physically , are many who think people of color are less then others , that is a sad point of view which stems from self hatred of the actual perpetrators , its a very complex subject to try and answer in a few lines , Yet I would add ,there is a strong call from within the trans community which is rigorously building itself strongly , leaded by trans women , in the US , specially of color ( the amazing Janet Mock and Lavern Cox and many more fantastic humans ) , to set aside form the LGB , for not all trans people identify sexually and generally in such a restrictive terms . There is a need for the LGB community to understand that Gender issues are not the subject of trans people , that is touches everybody’s life , including hetero normative people . Look at Gay men and their constant struggle with femininity and being feminine . Lesbians with their constant discussion of how butch or femme they are and what entitles such definitions .Hetero men and their constant struggle to demonstrate machismo , especially in Italy , its a battle every one goes through every day , a discussion We , trans identified people just brought to the surface for the “extreme” measure of dealing with this subject and our daily , direct conversation with it .
N. Have you ever been victim of discrimination?
N. Many times , as a woman , as a Jew , as lesbian , as a perceived Gay man , and even as trans . In New York I once went for a poetry open mic for women and trans men only and the host didn’t want to let me read my poem at first for she did not believe I was trans . In Israel , I had many unpleasant moments in the airport with my female identified passport and Male looking self , Im lucky I kept all my old passports and IDs to prove else . At the bank In Israel ( mizrahi bank ) they refused to let me withdraw my money after opening an account with my ID that didn’t match my sex , when I issued a new one , they asks me to bring a letter from a doctor proving I am trans , claiming that was a rule by the bank administration . In Israel there is still not a laws to protect me in case someone will discriminate me for being trans , there is a huge effort to pass such a law , yet the parliament and its majority of members sabotage it .
N. How do the other gay men you date with react when they realize that you were a woman?
N. I don’t go out with “gay” men , I prefer men , Not necessarily Gay . In the US , some 
would flea ( I used it many times to get rid of unwanted men ) , some would embrace . In Israel it is starting to be better , but then again , I am more interested in Bisexual men for I see myself as neither of sexes , therefore in a way , as both . I believe tolerance is being developed and many gay men who fantasized on trans men are starting to come out of their hiding .
Most men are very curious beings , especially sexually , if there wasn’t so much shame and hiding involved and such closed mindedness towards themselves , they would be more open to not only trans men , but many other things their social sexual preference definitions restrict them to .I must add that though many members of the Lesbian community aren’t particularly friendly to trans men , there is much more interest in Trans men in that community and much more sexual openness and definition boundary breaking on their side , women are more open and accepting beings then men , that is a fact.
I only once went on a date with someone who didn’t know , I hit on him on the street and we went on a date where he continuously claimed I was so manly for stopping him in the street . At then end , I told him when We reached his apartment . He was very sweet about it , I wasn’t really feeling it though , for lying is no habit of mine . I wrote is as a short story that later became a little short film .
N. You lived in Milan for a while, where you attended the Italian institue of photography. How can you describe your experience in our country?
N. I LOVE Italy , especially all the magnificent souls I met there , so many beautiful , good hearted , generous people who helped my way there , like a family . I learned a lot from the Italians about the important things in life , friends , good food , good company , enjoying beauty , creativity and sharing . Italy explained to me that the western way of life leads to decay and that some traditions such as the ones described above , are core values for peaceful , well being .
In my year in Milan I told a person for the first time that I do not feel like a woman , nor identify as one. It was a year of many spiritual enlightments and special connections with high souls of great knowledge , The Italians I came across were very spiritually advanced and open minded .
N. As a foreign transexual man, what is your own perspective of the situation in Italy for the LGBT community?
N. As a Lesbian , it was the worse year for me , for there were very little places to meet women , I also felt bad for the gay friends I met along the way , men living in hiding , lying about fake girlfriends 5 hours away , that they meet once in 3 months . a lot of shame , for no reason , a lot of hiding for fear of ridicule or violence . though Italian society , being a very compassionate one , once people know someone first as a person , then they find out they are gay , they suddenly find themselves accepting , but only of that person . or that they claimed it is ok as long as its is not displayed in public , while 60 year old ones are so affectionate in the streets you can almost see people make love in the streets or parks , which is OK , because they are hetero . I believe that Italian society is ready to let go of those old beliefs and remain loving of people for being people , of displaying love as part of life and not see it as a demonstration of some sort , or a way to spread a “disease” ask any gay person , most of them know it by the age of 5 , you can’t “catch ” it like a flue , You are like that , only that Italian society forces you to not disclose it .I believe in the kind heartedness of italians and that if Italian Gays will accept themselves and be who they are not fearing ( like some do , but not enough ) , they will slowly and gradually create a beautiful change . and remember , it is not a battle , it is an educational process . there are many things Italians live with they know don’t benefit them , like many other nations in the world , once others help them understand and let go of those old beliefs , it can be a place where everyone is free , including others who are suppressed . You can look at the female revolution in the 70’s as an example for change . I do not believe such measures are necessary though .
N. You are Israeli and you are now living in Tel Aviv: what are the common problems faced by trans people in your country of origin?
N. Israel is a tricky place , a place of a lot of racism and violence , not only towards women and minorities but towards the LGBT community and Trans women in particular . A male dominant society where every one struggles therefore the “weakest” suffer more from others.The common issues around the globe are very acute , homelessness , poverty , prostitution , acceptance , problems in finding work and difficulties with the system and government administration . The government is making changing your gender mark on IDs a very difficult process , obtaining hormones demands having to go through an approval committee every 6 months , whereas in the US you can just get a prescription and receive it . Though the government cover the medical procedures , there is massive lags between the demand for such procedures and the delivery , many people wait long periods of times for procedures they have been approved for . everything goes through a committee which makes things slow and painful , especially for older trans people . there are many more opportunities created in the past few years for the younger crowd , thanks to many great people working and volunteering for change . Yet older , over 30 trans mean and women are left out .The government supports through social security trans people , defining them as temporarily invalid for work as they go through the process , yet that is a very small amount of money to barely pay rent in the center of the country , where trans people are forced to live for fear of being aggressed or haressed in other parts of the country . It the most costly part of the country which puts trans people in more financial difficulties . there are many other issues , and yet there are many good souls out there trying to change the path for us every day , which I am very proud of and grateful for .
N. You are an artist, and at the moment in Tel Aviv you are studying the local art-world, exhibiting your works and collaborating with other artists. As I have read in the interview on i24news, your focus is photography and documentation, mainly of the trans community, to create “a visually strong channel for them to express themselves”. What does it mean?
N. I am in the phase of landing , the face of this place has changed a lot in the past 9 years I haven’t lived in it and there is much to adapt to . Im working on exhibiting my work as part of a social conversation for change , I am not an advocate for the trans community only , I am a humanist at heart and believe the main struggle across the globe is for everyone to have well being , not just certain “chosen” parts of it . Im working on several projects to voice trans experience and being trans as a way of life rather then a dry social definition . for example , one of the projects Im currently occupied with is about the use of hormones , its affects on trans people , how it feels to be a drug consuming person for life and how it is dealt with , while exposing the future of hormonal sex change that is , according to research I have made online and through medical professionals and scientist , is in DNA change , rather then drugs consumption . I believe there is a serious connection between the consumption of such drugs and the way theory are consumed ( often bi weekly or once a week ) that contributes to the mental difficulties trans people experience in every day life and depression , which as I mentioned earlier , stems from living in a body that does represent them . I must add that I am so very grateful these hormones are available to us ( at least some , the cheaper ones ) for without them there was no hormonal transition at that level available . It is time to move forward and start speaking about a possibly better , healthier , future that lengthen our lives.
N. I personally think that it is important, if even fundamental, to give people the possibility and the chance to tell who they are in order to make the others confident with them. This takes priority when we are dealing with the so-called “minority”. Knowledge is the key to go beyond the stereotypes and to overpass the prejudices. This is the reason why Bossy was born, and we, as a project, are struggling a lot in the Italian cultural and social landscape in order to make people aware of the variety of the World. Do you personally think that the mainstream media have any responsibility in portraying a certain image of transsexual people and, especially, of trans men? What the media gets wrong about trans people? And how do you think the media should be portraying trans men?
N. First the media is sponsored financially endorsed , therefore it is very limited in its views .The people who write for it , are often unaware and uninterested in the wider picture , as I said , some topics are so long to discuss , their short attention readers wont be interested in such long texts . The media is a creature that lives of controversy , if there is no controversy , people wont read , if the headlines don’t scream , people will go to youtube and watch what they choose to watch rather then being dictated by the media what is on todays topic. thanks to the internet , people are taking matters to their own hands and prefer to be informed through other , unbiased channels .I don’t think that the media is getting it wrong , I believe that like many others , they just don’t understand , they try to translate something they have no clue to what it is into common day language , it is bound for failure . some publications are more cautious , as they’re reading audience is more advanced ( NY times , the New Yorker and some other more prestigious publications) yet it is a journey , not a struggle in my eyes , of educating , therefore my goal is to continue to educate people in a spiritual manner rather then a scientific manner , for there is no simple way to explain such a complex experience .I think the media should focus on each case on its own and not as a representative of a whole group , thats where they can be most accurate . I also think someone who writes a piece about trans people , should do the courtesy of letting at least one trans woman and one man to read it before publishing , consult on the correct language , terms and attitude . words can be very dangerous especially when used in a hurtful manner.
N. What are some of the challenges you faced and successes you achieved coming out as a transgender in your life?
N. Some people twist their faces when I say Im trans , sometimes there is a feeling Im automatically pushed out of the society’s comfortable lines once I disclose my past , yet that is not a big source of agony for me . I never lived to satisfy others , once it was my mother , but then I grew over it ( the age of 12 ) , so what other people think never really mattered to me , and when it did , on different subjects , I would address it and work to change it immediately .I have removed layers of old thought patterns in my 6 years of transition , I have grown stronger and prouder of who I am , I have empowered hundreds , personally and through my arts messages . I have carried with me a couple of trans mean dn women through their transition and that has been one of my greets gifts ever , to see my “trans children ” ( often over their 30’s and 40’s) grow and un-bud into their beautiful radiant new selves , it has been my honor to take part in their transition and processes and be a support column in a journey full of difficulties and loneliness, just like my friends did for me , trans and non trans .
N. Would you like to say anything to all those young men and young women who are starting their transition or who are already transitioning?
N. Be who you have always dreamed to be first in your heart and minds , every moment you can . remember where you are going and keep your eyes on the road , not only on the goal . make good friends and family around you , whether by blood or your own , a big support system will carry you through this with joy and excitement . find positive trans friends and role models to guide you like a light in this often dark world . See yourself as special and unique , something beyond the ordinary , a light , a force , source itself .everything passes , so don’t let hard times beat you down , do what you want regardless to what people say . Be safe , keep yourself from harming places and people , this world is changing whether some like it or not , that is the nature of life , change .See yourself as high agents of that change . It is already a better place for trans women , men and children than it was 5 years ago , see yourself as who you feel inside and shine it outwards , so that the world will open up to you as well , we are all stepping stones in this historical path of great change , whether in the front line or the back of it . We are all one .
