The topic is complex and delicate, but let’s tackle it in the simplest way possible.
Gender dysphoria exists – even though talking about transgenderism and transexualism in Italy is still considered to be some sort of taboo – and it manifests itself in the early stages of childhood, around the age of three to four.
So why do we so rarely hear about transgender children, if the adults who decide to embark on this gender transition journey feel it’s necessary for this change to happen basically from forever? The answer is not totally obvious.
Undoubtedly, it is extremely hard to find a social and family environment that is inclusive and willing to accept that one’s own son or daughter identifies with the gender opposite to the one assigned at birth.
On the other hand, one must take into consideration that, before reaching a stage of full and mature self-awareness and awareness of one’s identity, there is a journey of personal and psychological growth one must go on, therefore it takes time. The journey children go on throughout their childhood doesn’t only consist of “discovering the world around us” but also and most importantly of “discovering oneself and one’s own body”, and this relationship with one’s own body is exactly what continues to grow and develop over time.
Today I want to discuss two stories, two beautiful stories, which reflect these thoughts.
A few months ago, a video went viral on the Internet. It was Tom Sosnik’s coming out video, an American boy who is only thirteen.
Tom gathered his family, his friends and his classmates, and made a short speech in which he explained his choice to live publicly as a boy. He decided to make this announcement in such a powerful and open way following the news of Leelah Alcorn’s suicide, a transgender seventeen-year-old girl who took her own life last December following heavy and negative reactions from her family towards her choice of living publicly as a woman, even though she was biologically born as a male (we have already told you about this story, you can read the article here).
Tom says:
I’m no longer Mia, I never really was, and now I finally stand before you in my true and authentic gender identity, as Tom. I stand before you as a thirteen-year-old boy. […] For a while I dismissed the fact that I hated my body, I pretended to be content with what I was assigned into, till a certain point I broke. I went through a series of horrible breakdowns and I would stand under the water in the shower crying. I knew I wasn’t happy but it didn’t seem fair to me that everyone around me was.
Tom’s strength and courage to stand up for himself and claim his right to freely live his true gender identity have led to a lot of admiration. It’s rare to see such a young guy, but already so self-aware, who was pushed by his mature determination to proudly announce to his community his decision. It is most certainly also thanks to his parents, who supported their son during such an important time, never denying him of the love and respect he needed.
Tom is in fact very thankful and lucky for the support received by his family, and he hopes to receive the same treatment and comprehension also from the other people in the community, particularly from his friends and classmates.
The other story is that of John Jolie-Pitt. In December 2014, Brad Pitt arrived at the premiere of ‘Unbroken’ – a movie produced and directed by his wife Angelina Jolie who was unable to attend due to chicken pox – along with three of his children. The media’s attention was on the blond boy, a perfect combination of his mum and dad’s features, who proudly shows off his short hair and a man’s suit, just like his dad and his two brothers. What intrigued everyone at the premiere, as well as all the medias, was that the boy who now wants to be called John was born as Shiloh and – biologically speaking – as a nine-year-old girl.
His parents have publicly declared that, since their son was about two years old (the masculine pronoun is used here as an expression of his will), he identifies himself as a boy and has openly asked to be called John. Brad and Angelina have immediately proven to be open and favorable to support his will, giving him the space and freedom he needs to explore and question his gender identity, without at the same time feeling under pressure to openly make a final decision at such a young age.
What the Pitt parents have understood is that John needs time to grow up and develop his own self-awareness, and that if he wants to he will be able to openly embrace is male identity, without anyone neither forcing him to nor telling him when he will have to make this decision by.
These two stories are fantastic examples of how parents have reacted so positively towards their children’s search for their own gender identity, without stepping back and denying them of their love and support just when they needed it the most.
I really hope one day (perhaps not too far away) all this will be normality, that we won’t need someone to write an article to tell similar stories – because these will no longer be considered ‘news’ that need to be discussed – and that boys and girls like Leelah won’t have to reach the stage where they have to take their own life at seventeen because they are rejected by the same people who brought them into this world.
Sources: Panorana, Pinknews, Infermieristica pediatrica.it
