I came across Vin Los, at the civil registry called Vincent Langlois, for the first time during summer 2014, while I was in Amman. I was surfing the Web when I bumped into this handsome Canadian guy, all muscles and abs, with his face and most of his body covered in tattoos of words placed in random places. A head-turning human blackboard for all women and gay man across the world, a living mural with clearly insane and obscene writings that, however, have made Vin Los someone people talk about and obviously a sex symbol.
25 years old, Canadian from Quebec, model and artist, everyone thought Vin Los was a gay guy with irresistible charm, but on the 24 August last year, he shocked almost 14 000 followers with this statement on his Facebook profile:
“We only have one life, live it right. My soul is mostly woman. I knew forever. It’s not something easy to understand. I don’t feel the need to fully become a woman, I feel more androgynous than 100% Woman. let’s say 90% woman 10% boy lol. But I chose to change my appearance a lot to look like how I feel inside. I did change the way I train my body to get slimmer, but fit, like the victoria secret models haha, my hair will grow out for 1-2 years. This is the real me, who I truly am inside. It’s time to let it go, and set myself free”
Vin Los explains that he doesn’t feel like a man, but he doesn’t feel 100% like a woman either. He identifies himself rather as androgynous, and writes that he came to this realisation after working for a long time on his level of understanding: “I’ve always known, but it’s not easy to really understand”.
Vin Los changes his training and in no time he starts to “deflate”: his muscles give way to a toned but slimmer physique, and his androgyny begins to show through. The macho man of the past is transforming himself into a new person, a Vin Los that is finally rejoining with his soul.
And while in Italy there is yet another case of suicide because of one’s sexual orientation and one’s identity, despised by a cumbersome society that really can’t shake off its dominating role in people’s conscience and in the public-individual morality, in the much more civilised Canada Vin Los doesn’t have to face obstacles during his transition. On the contrary! And it is in fact Vin himself to tell us his story in this exclusive interview for Bossy, the first one issued in Italy, that should make us reflect and help to break that code of silence and transphobia that still grips the Italian society.
N. Dear Vin, first of all thank you very much for accepting our interview. Let’s start from a simple question: how would you describe yourself? Model, painter, artist, transgender or someone else? And how do you want people to call you?
V. I would describe myself as a free soul. I won’t put any label such as Painter or Model on myself because in two years from now, everything can change. I’m a very very curious person, and I need to learn everything. I want people to call me Vin Los.
N. Where did you grow up? Could you describe your childhood?
V. I grew up in a town near Montreal, everything was pretty normal. I had a good family with strong values. I was good at school, always into art classes. My friends were always girls. Never had a guy friend, even now, only girls.
N. When you were a child, how much did you know about transgenderism?
V. I think that it is the same as homosexuality, you always know and knew it, but when you are young, you just don’t have words for it. I always being attracted to men, but never felt gay. I never ididentied as a gay male, I went maybe 2-3 times in gay clubs in my entire life, because it is not my culture. I always knew my spirit was the one of a woman. But I just kind of “accepted” that I was a man. I tried many times to transition, even before the tattoos, I was on a 3 month HRT when I was 17. But I alwas had fear, I guess transgender woman typical fears. Like my feet, or hands, that wouldn’t be like the woman’s size, or if I don’t pass. So I never had the strength to go further until now.
N. When did you feel for the first time that you were neither a boy nor a man?
V. Younger, I remember, every Halloween my aunt was doing my nails, but not halloween ones, real ones like manicure. I loved it!
N. Why did you decide to come out? Has anyone helped you in doing that? Have you been “inspired” by anyone?
V. I haven’t being inspired by someone to come out, or to transition now, it’s is just that I met some trans friends and I had the chance to see in real life, what hormoens can do to your body and understood that it was way better than I ever expected. My trans friends, looks like woman, not like a crossdresser, but like women. So my fears went away. And also, it was killing me, to be a man, I can play the man that work out, and I do love to keep being active, but it was just slowy killing me, I knew I was not living my life, just like a passenger. We sometime forget that we only have one life, I won’t be back to live my real woman life, so I have to make it happen.
N. Jus
t before your transition, you were (and you still are!) a very good-looking and sexy man. You are certainly a sex symbol: but was your masculine aspect a kind of shield to protect your own identity? Why did you used to appear as a macho man, a symbol of virility, if you did not feel like a man?
V. Well, I always made the difference between my body (male) and my soul (female). Even working out and being macho looking, I was at home looking a makeup Guru on Youtube etc. Image is so powerful that it was like, If I look macho, If people see me that way too, then I am. It’s a way to denied yourself. Putting an overall mask. It’s much easier to go with what you got, then to go through a transition like that, so I played my cards for 25 years now, and the game is over. I know that I can’t do it anymore.
N. In your transitioning, and even before, were you supported by your family, friends and relatives?
V. My family never had issues with me being into guys, transitioning is another thing. I don’t really need or looking for their support, since the tattoos, I feel I’m alone. My family doesn’t exist anymore.
N. Gender discrimination is awful: have you ever been a victim?
V. I never being a victim of discrimination.
N. You live in Montreal: what is the general attitude of the Canadian society towards transexual and LGBT people? What is your view on the present situation of transexual and LGBT people in Canada?
V. Montreal is probably the most open minded place towards LGBT, here everything is accepted. Of course there’s part of the city less safe, but in general, Canadian have no issues with transgenders, gays, bisexuals, lesbians etc.
N. You are an artist: do you think that the transition is having any impact on your artistic performance and creativity?
V. I think, that since I just letting myself free, I’m more inspired to create paintings, with colors, or image that I probably wouldn’t have made. Art is always a representation of the artist. So I guess, I will make more colorful creations in the future.
