Butch: misogyny or gallantry?

Butch women, also known as studs, are often defined as the most masculine and harsh part inside the lesbian spectrum. They are typically represented as women with huge jeans and flannel shirts, who have been used to shave their hair long before Stranger Things came into the scenario. They are represented by Boo in Orange Is The New Black, Brienne Of Tarth in Game of Thrones and Ellen in – well – her being Ellen. Despite being currently embraced and accepted in pop culture and major media, for them reality is slightly different and their space inside our society is still questioned.

The debate “feminism against butch” is still on since decades – articles, academic papers published online are not that hard to find. Many activists have accused the butch for what it stands for, saying it’s too masculine and calling it a man-identified symbol. Along with their way of dressing, butch women carry around an outstanding paternalistic behavior toward the partner, a great proud in being ‘male alike’ and the sexist point of view that goes along with it: I am the strong one, I will bring home the money at the end of the day, I will fix the pare wheel in case of an emergency. A butch body, together with a butch manner, wishes for a male looking figure – destroying somehow the beauty and proud of being a cisgender woman.

Butch women are also ostracized by LGBT groups. Their way of living romantic relationships has been accused of heteronormativity (since the majority of stud girls engage with femmes) and criticized for creating a straight-alike couple dynamic. Queer theorists have been fighting against this for years, questioning the butch experience with topics such as: you’re a woman, you’re in a relationship with a woman, why do you have to structure your romantic life with a double standard made of ties vs skirts, Lifetime vs Dmax, hoodies vs lipsticks?

Another criticism comes from blogs like Autostraddle and AfterEllen. They argued that studs infantilize their partners, calling them babe or baby or other similar nicknames. By infantilizing the girlfriend, a butch stands up as a mentor – guiding them through normal schedules and implying that they simply don’t know any better.

The point is: are butch the real enemy? Are they the wrong expression of homosexuality and the wrong side of being feminine and woman-alike? Should we fight against them? I really don’t think so.

I think it’s far more important to think why our society empowers men and male figures, and why our relationship with the female spectrum is so ambivalent. The examples of queer theorist Judith/Jack Halberstam about female masculinity and the struggle of a butch who goes shopping in the men section of H&M are highlighting and precise. A butch is not a man, she doesn’t want to be a man, she wants to be a butch. If we take this phrase into consideration, and we assume that a butch is likely to a be a feminist just as much as she’s likely to don’t give a damn about gender equality, then we can completely change our point of view.

Lea DeLaria from Orange Is The New Black summarizes perfectly this statement during an interview about her being a masculine woman and the feminist cause: “I’ve always considered myself a feminist. When I open a door for a woman, I’m not implying she’s weak in any way. To me it’s a matter of politeness and respect. With a man I also do it.”

Personally I think that accusing a butch of being a man just because she likes to wear suits and ties implies taking a way too narrow-minded position. She’s not doing that because she hopes that a tie will give her access to a “better people” society standard: this is not being butch, this is being a patriarchal sexist. And a jerk.

It’s wrong to stigmatize a butch by generalizing and hold on to clichés and stereotypes. They are not misogynist subjects that behave on the surface as gentle knights. They are people with their own way of living their own personal and romantic sphere – it’s their intimacy, therefore we should respect it and not criticizing it.

What we have to criticize is women sexual objectification, heteronormative standards imposed as the “good ones”, patriarchal misogyny, infantilizing a partner, a sub-forced couple dynamic. These are the real problems in our society.

The true problem is inside everyone’s ethical and moral stands, it is not in the fact that a person is a lesbian who drinks beer and play football every Sunday with friends. If a lesbian empowers misogyny and sexism, she’s just as likely to do that while wearing high heels and lipsticks.